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Русская газета «РЕКЛАМА МАЙАМИ» / Russian newspaper «REKLAMA MIAMI»     954-344-7797     954 227 82 91







Юмор

На юге. Пышнотелая блондинка строит всем глазки, хихикает, громко разговаривает. Усевшись на волнорез, изображает, что не может сойти в воду без посторонней помощи. Протягивает руку к проплывающему мимо мужчине:
– Мужчина, помогите даме!
В ответ слышит:
– Я уже не мужчина — я сегодня уезжаю!
* * *
В парижском кафе посетитель одну за другой опрокидывает рюмки с водкой. Его сосед замечает:
– А вы знаете, что каждый третий француз страдает заболеванием печени из-за злоупотребления алкоголем?
– Меня это не касается, я — русский…
* * *
Инструктор спрашивает начинающего туриста, какой наилучший способ по определению своего местонахождения он знает.
– Спросить местного жителя.


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Two Cubans Sentenced for Trying to Reach Alaska Via Russia

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A Russian court has handed a suspended one-year jail sentence to two Cubans for attempting to illegally cross the Russian border into Alaska two years ago, regional officials announced. Russian prosecutors said the two Cubans, who did not have valid U.S. immigration documents, tried to enter the Alaskan island of Little Diomede from Russia’s Chukotka autonomous district in September 2016. During the World Cup, asylum seekers in several cases had attempted to enter Europe through Russia’s borders. “In Chukotka, they offered one of the local residents an award of 1,000 euros and $800 to transport them to the foreign country on a small vessel,” the regional prosecutor’s office said in a statement on Wednesday. Prosecutors said that instead of helping the Cubans reach Alaska, the resident turned them over to Russian border security officers. Cuban citizens traditionally migrate to the U.S. without documents through Florida, often by a life-threatening journey by sea on inflatable rafts. The migrants caught in Russia will face six months of probation after they serve their sentence.

 

Russian Worries Over Poverty, Unemployment Reach Pre-1998 Crisis Levels

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Russians are worried about rising prices, growing poverty and unemployment in levels not seen since the lead-up to the 1998 economic crisis that resulted in a severe economic downturn, according to a new poll by the independent Levada Center. According to Lev Gudkov, head of the Levada Center, social tensions began to grow last year when the government made broad promises ahead of the March 2018 presidential elections. More recently, Gudkov told the Kommersant business daily, unpopular government plans to raise the retirement age “in violation of an unspoken social contract” have inflamed people’s worries. Rising prices were the most pressing issue for 72 percent of respondents in the most recent poll, compared to 61 percent of respondents in 2017.

 

Children’s Writer Eduard Uspensky Dies at Age 80

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Eduard Uspensky, one of the country’s most beloved children’s writers, passed away Tuesday evening after a long illness. He was 80 years old.
Born in 1937, the height of Stalin’s purges, one of the most horrible years in Russia’s recent history, Uspensky grew up to be one of the funniest Soviet writers and the most recognizable names in children’s literature.

 

Lavrov Says Dollar’s Days Are Numbered as Global Trade Currency

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The U.S. dollar’s role as a global currency is in decline and Russia has been exploring for some time using national currencies to settle bilateral trade deals with Turkey and other countries, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said. But Lavrov, speaking on a visit to the Turkish capital on Tuesday, did not make any commitments for Russia to drop the dollar in trade with Turkey, whose lira currency plummeted to a record low against the dollar this week. “I’m confident that the grave abuse of the role of the U.S. dollar as a global reserve currency will result over time in the weakening and demise of its role,” said Lavrov, who was speaking at a news conference with his Turkish counterpart. “The use of national currencies for mutual trade has for several years been one of the tasks that the presidents of Russia and Turkey had set,” said Lavrov. “Identical processes have been happening in our relations with Iran. Not only with Turkey and Iran, we’re also arranging and already implementing payments in national currencies with the People’s Republic of China,” Lavrov said. On Monday, the Kremlin said that Russia favored bilateral trade with all countries in their national currencies, rather than the dollar, but that the idea needed detailed work before being implemented.

 

Russian VIP Coffins Offer a Last Journey for Big Spenders

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If you can’t take your money to the grave, why not spend it on a coffin? A Moscow funeral home is offering a selection of “elite”caskets for the big spenders who are ready to pay thousands of dollars for the box in which they’ll spend eternity. RSS Ritual, a funeral home based in Moscow, sells engraved and Italian-made wooden coffins that range in price from 68,000 rubles ($1,020) to 780,000 rubles ($11,700). “Death is irreversible,” RSS Ritual says on its website. “We try to do everything we can to help you see off a worthy person on a worthy last journey.” The collection on offer includes Ukrainian-made “Patriot” coffin engraved with the Russian coat of arms that sells for $8,500, and the Italian-made “Venezia America” olive wood coffin on sale for almost $10,000. Russians have bought dozens of “Patriot” coffins in the 10 years the design has been on the market, the funeral home’s manager Andrei Dobrolyubov told The Moscow Times on Wednesday. However, the company stopped importing the top-flight caskets for two years after taking a hit during the 2014 financial crisis. “These caskets were much cheaper before the dollar crashed four years ago,” said Dobrolyubov.

 

Russian Gas Prices Named Among World’s Cheapest — Bloomberg

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Gasoline prices in Russia have been named the world’s 10th-cheapest in Bloomberg’s ranking of 61 countries released last week. Russian drivers saw an average 8.2 percent rise in fuel prices this spring, leading at least one regional official to ditch his car in favor of riding a horse to work. Kremlin officials said last month that they had introduced steps to halt the price hike, which the economy ministry later said had helped slow the rise in gas prices to 2.1 percent in June. Russian gas prices were the 10th cheapest this year at an average 43.44 rubles per liter ($0.70), according to Bloomberg. Venezuela topped the list with $0.01 gasoline, followed by less than $0.50 charged in Iran, Kuwait, Nigeria and Egypt this year. The most expensive pumps were found to be in Hong Kong, where one liter cost up to $2.10 in 2018. Meanwhile, Russia ranked 34th in affordability, calculated in terms of how much of a day’s wage goes to paying for one liter of gas. It placed 52nd in the percentage of annual income spent on filling up, according to Bloomberg.

 

Russia to Increase Oil Production to New Record Highs in 2019

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Russian oil producers have already returned oil production to record levels this year and will boost crude production further next year thanks to the launch of several greenfield projects, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) said in a report on Aug. 13. Russian oil production has increased recently to a record 11.2 million barrels a day, earning oil producers outsized profits this year. Russian state-owned oil producer Rosneft has already earned more profit in the first quarter of this year than in all of 2017, which recently made it the most valuable company in the country.

 

Putin Calls for More Positivity on Social Media

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Amid an escalating national debate about social media users being jailed for offensive memes, President Vladimir Putin has stepped in to lament the lack of positivity found online. Russian activists have ramped up calls to decriminalize laws that make posting religiously insensitive, hateful or other “extremist” content on social media a jailable offense. Vkontakte, the social network that has been accused of providing the most case materials to authorities, announced steps this week to improve privacy settings for users. At a youth forum in the North Caucasus on Wednesday, Putin lauded its participants for spreading their work on social media “with the utmost of positivity.” “It’s that positivity that’s missing on social networks,” the state-run TASS news agency quoted him as saying. “It’s 100 percent needed on the networks,” Putin added. A day earlier, his spokesman Dmitry Peskov reportedly admitted that some criminal cases involving online activity “were beyond the realm of common sense.”

 
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